Posted in Poems

I am everyone else except me

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She sees nightmares awake and asleep. I can only imagine. – by C.E. Pereira

I’m hanging by a thin thread.
I am failing all the test in my path.
I see fear and anger in her eyes.
Mine shows impatience and defeat.

I’m a stranger she sees everyday.
Fear and anger her companions.
A moment of clarity, so fleeting.
I see my future self in her.

I question God. I plead my case.
I make everything about me.
How much more selfish can I get?
I want time to rewind to before.

In the bedroom, she’s a prisoner.
Her mind sees a hospital room.
She demands to go home, angry.
I tell her she’s already at home.

She screams, shaking the bed rails.
Softly, I try to calm her. She screams.
I raise my voice, my tone rises high.
And made her cringe in fear.

She looks so confused, so lost.
Pleading, she calls for me.
Yet, I’m the stranger she sees.
I leave the room. I need time, away.

I no longer exist. What now?
I am everyone else except me.
Yet, she remembers my full name.
Can anyone explain the irony of this?

By C.E. Pereira
(12-5-2020)

Author:

I'm a Eurasian of Portuguese, English, Scottish and Malay heritage. And my extended family are of Chinese and Indian heritage. In recent years, the younger generation have added on to include spouses from the Philippines, Nigeria and Russia. My world is made up of different colours like the rainbow. And like the rainbow I am unique. Reading is my form of relaxation, to escape from the drudgery of daily life and enter into a world of the imagination. It is the love of reading that has led me to try my hand in writing short stories and poems. I hope that in some way my stories and poems will take you for a little while away from the drudgery of the present into the pages of imagination. To new friends found, I bid you, Welcome. Sincerely, C.E. Pereira

7 thoughts on “I am everyone else except me

  1. Try to do your best,
    Don’t be upset Cepcarol,
    You’ll be okay tomorrow,
    If you put love in your heart.
    I’m sure your heart is full of love.
    Love will make you feel good,
    I would wish you well,
    And beautiful, Cepcarol.

    DTQT.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve been off WordPress for four months so need to catch up. How is your mother? Is she still coping with dementia? How are you coping? Wonderful poem, we can all lose our sense of identity when we are constantly caring for a loved one. It seems we only exist for their pleasure.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your concern. Dementia takes from us our loved ones, their memory. She is coping as best as she can, I think. 🌻

      Like

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