You look over my shoulder.
You point, then look at me.
I get goosebumps.
Your eyes seeing the unseen.
You mumble mostly now.
I cannot understand.
You don’t ask my name.
You look through me.
Your anger is gone.
You cry and mumble.
I catch one word, afraid.
Do I tell you I’m afraid too?
I sing hymns to you.
At times I recite the hymns.
And prayers too. For us both.
It stops your crying. Or not!
Each day it gets worse.
You disappear more.
I look into your eyes.
There is no recognition.
The wheelchair abandoned.
You are bedridden now.
To chew and swallow difficult.
Everything is soft food now.
Your heartbeat strong.
But your mind breaking.
You eat like a sparrow.
Your weight drops each day.
This cruelty. Helplessness.
This living nightmare.
You are alone. I am helpless.
You are afraid. I can only watch.
Memories a jigsaw minefield.
Pieces scattered and damaged.
You try… I cannot fix it.
The mother I know is almost gone.
Each day to God I plead.
To show you mercy.
Dawn brings another day.
Again I plead with God.
By C.E. Pereira
(9-6-2019)
It’s such a long and emotional process. 😦
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We make her as comfortable as we can.
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