Posted in Poems

Helplessness

autumn

You look over my shoulder.
You point, then look at me.
I get goosebumps.
Your eyes seeing the unseen.

You mumble mostly now.
I cannot understand.
You don’t ask my name.
You look through me.

Your anger is gone.
You cry and mumble.
I catch one word, afraid.
Do I tell you I’m afraid too?

I sing hymns to you.
At times I recite the hymns.
And prayers too. For us both.
It stops your crying. Or not!

Each day it gets worse.
You disappear more.
I look into your eyes.
There is no recognition.

The wheelchair abandoned.
You are bedridden now.
To chew and swallow difficult.
Everything is soft food now.

Your heartbeat strong.
But your mind breaking.
You eat like a sparrow.
Your weight drops each day.

This cruelty. Helplessness.
This living nightmare.
You are alone. I am helpless.
You are afraid. I can only watch.

Memories a jigsaw minefield.
Pieces scattered and damaged.
You try… I cannot fix it.
The mother I know is almost gone.

Each day to God I plead.
To show you mercy.
Dawn brings another day.
Again I plead with God.

By C.E. Pereira
(9-6-2019)

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Author:

I'm a Eurasian of Portuguese, English, Scottish and Malay heritage. And my extended family are of Chinese and Indian heritage. In recent years, the younger generation have added on to include spouses from the Philippines, Nigeria and Russia. My world is made up of different colours like the rainbow. And like the rainbow I am unique. Reading is my form of relaxation, to escape from the drudgery of daily life and enter into a world of the imagination. It is the love of reading that has led me to try my hand in writing short stories and poems. I hope that in some way my stories and poems will take you for a little while away from the drudgery of the present into the pages of imagination. To new friends found, I bid you, Welcome. Sincerely, C.E. Pereira

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