One of those up and down days

autumn

I pleaded for the rain to fall.
To cast its gloomy shadow down.
I pleaded for the rain to pour.
And drench me in tears, my tears.

The rain did not fall today.
I felt the sun’s rays beating down.
The day bright and sunny, glorious.
Mocking the pain within my soul.

I sat in silence, my sadness locked in.
As the sun rose higher I pouted.
I wanted to be wrapped in gloom.
But the weather refused to be gloomy.

There I sat looking out the window.
It was a lovely day to be outdoors.
But I kept punishing myself.
I wanted to wallow in self-pity.

How did sadness turn into self-pity?
I needed to talk to someone, anyone.
I came up empty, while drowning in sadness.
And evolved into anger, tears hot.

It took a while but I came to my senses.
Sometimes I just have to let my emotions run riot.
From sadness to pouting; then self-pity to anger.
I am back to being sad but no more mad at the world.

By C.E. Pereira
(23-11-2016)

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