Am I paranoid, delusional

Weird things are happening.
I cannot pinpoint the cause,
but I sense resentment.
I catch a look, veiled too fast.

Friendship disappearing,
I cannot understand,
Too afraid to know why.
Tears I fight back, alone.

I want to scream, to demand.
No sound I make, I am silent.
Will I find the courage,
to ask them for a reason.

I step into a room,
a split second of silence follows.
How can a whole group,
turn into polite strangers.

They whisper softly,
then cast sly looks my way.
Laughter follows loudly,
their heads turn away.

I mourn friends who died,
and those who left for far lands.
How do I walk away without knowing
why these friends have changed.

There’s no more friendly talks,
only polite conversations.
When I join the group,
slowly but surely I end up alone.

Can others see me blush?
I in one corner,
my friends across the room.
I hurt, sadness fills me.

Am I paranoid, delusional.
Losing my friends or my mind?
Should I toss a coin,
heads or tails, does it matter!

By C.E. Pereira
(4-7-2015)

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