Am I paranoid, delusional

autumn

Weird things are happening.
I cannot pinpoint the cause,
but I sense resentment.
I catch a look, veiled too fast.

Friendship disappearing,
I cannot understand,
Too afraid to know why.
Tears I fight back, alone.

I want to scream, to demand.
No sound I make, I am silent.
Will I find the courage,
to ask them for a reason.

I step into a room,
a split second of silence follows.
How can a whole group,
turn into polite strangers.

They whisper softly,
then cast sly looks my way.
Laughter follows loudly,
their heads turn away.

I mourn friends who died,
and those who left for far lands.
How do I walk away without knowing
why these friends have changed.

There’s no more friendly talks,
only polite conversations.
When I join the group,
slowly but surely I end up alone.

Can others see me blush?
I in one corner,
my friends across the room.
I hurt, sadness fills me.

Am I paranoid, delusional.
Losing my friends or my mind?
Should I toss a coin,
heads or tails, does it matter!

By C.E. Pereira
(4-7-2015)

Author: cepcarol

I'm a Eurasian of Portuguese, English, Scottish and Malay heritage. And my extended family are of Chinese and Indian heritage. In recent years, the younger generation have added on to include spouses from the Philippines, Nigeria and Russia. My world is made up of different colours like the rainbow. And like the rainbow I am unique. Reading is my form of relaxation, to escape from the drudgery of daily life and enter into a world of the imagination. It is the love of reading that has led me to try my hand in writing short stories and poems. I hope that in some way my stories and poems will take you for a little while away from the drudgery of the present into the pages of imagination. To new friends found, I bid you, Welcome. Sincerely, C.E. Pereira View All Posts