By C. E. Pereira
PATIENCE! Keep still as a statue, shallow breaths. Ready, now pounce. Got it. Yum! Yum! Well! I still got the hunting instinct and I’m agile as ever.
“Scamp!” “Hey, Fart-face. Where are you,” yelled my human.
Oh! Oh!, Better hide here for a while. If she catches me with the evidence I’ll get a scolding and sent to my cell as punishment.
“Scamp-boy! Get your butt in here now. You naughty boy. The poor bird, it’s dead,” wailed my human.
She sure knows how to take the fun out of hunting. I still got a long way in training her to understand that I’m a hunter and I have to keep ahead in my hunting. Well, better get my butt back home before she thinks of a harsher punishment.
Hey! That’s undignified. I have my rights, you can’t just throw me into the cell like that. I’m not a criminal. “Sigh…”
“You can grumble and make as much noise as you want but you’re not getting out just yet. Have to teach you that catching birds is wrong. You get fed with good food and still you go chasing anything that moves,” mutters my silly human.
I’ll just turn my back and ignore the pest. How insulting! I don’t chase everything that moves. Like I would be so stupid as to chase a dog. Hrmp!
Hah! Got her iritated enough by scratching and tearing the paper to itsy-bitsy pieces and messing-up my cell throughly. Yes! I’m out of prison and I think I’ll just ignore my human for a little while longer, let her stew a bit more. Can’t have her thinking I easily forgive the wrong done to me.
Oh! Oh! Sounds like I’m in trouble again. What did I do now? I’m just having a little snooze so how can I be in trouble again.
“Hey, fatso! Come on, get-up. You have your own chair. What are you doing sleeping on the sofa. Don’t “Meow!” at me! You know you are not suppose to sleep on the sofa, so get your butt over to the other chair – NOW!” hollers my undignified human.
How rude! Who’re you calling fatso. I’m big bone, not fat. How insulting can you get? Humans!!
“Scamp-boy! Stop grumbling. Come on, just get over to the other chair. You’re getting fur all over the cushion,” commands she with the vaccum cleaner.
Like I have to remember which chair is for sleeping, which one is for sitting and which one is for scratching. They all look the same to me. So how’d you expect me to remember all the different instruction.
“Scamp-boy! Get you fur butt off this sofa – NOW!” yells my human in her most authoritative tone of voice.
OK! OK! I’m moving. Just need to do a bit of stretching. Don’t hyper-ventilate, I’m getting there. Brrr… If her tone is any more colder I’ll be a popcicle by now.
Drat! There goes my sleep. Might as well have a snack then freshen-up. Better groom myself. Don’t want to get another scolding about being a fur-ball. How Insulting can one get? The indignity of being reduced to such names.
All that cleaning and grooming has made me tired. Think another nap is just the ticket to recharge my batteries. Look out couch here I come.
“Look at the little darling, all curled up and fast asleep. Looks like an angel,” purred my human.
Ahhh… I’m back in her good books. But I think I’ll take it easy for a while and have some peace and quiet. I’ll just curl-up and go back to sleep and hope I dream of catching birds and lizards. I don’t want to dream of those stray thugs eating my food or stealing my home. Maybe I should cut down on my food and stop stuffing my face. If my human is calling me names… Where is that mirror when you need it? Zzz…
Note: Scamp was not only adorable and lovable but very intelligent. He died of an inoperable tumor on July 30th, 2007 at the age of 11. He is very much missed but not forgotten.
Copyright © 2003 C. E. Pereira